by It’s strange to find yourself in middle age surrounded by hundreds of teenagers, but that’s life. Towards the end of 2019, things began to turn significantly for me when the demand for travel writers for some reason waned and I retrained to become a history teacher.
I was lucky: teaching is rewarding, if stressful, and I’m at a lovely girls’ school where you sometimes say “please” and “thank you.” However, these days I spend more time with other people’s children than with my own. My daughter Ava sailed through her GCSEs while I cursed and punched to get others through theirs – to the extent that we have lost the bond we once shared. I tied shoelaces, planned trips and braided hair. Now we say goodbye in the morning and wonder when we might be able to say hello again.
Of course teenagers have to live their own lives, but it makes me sad. Desperate. Could we get back what we once had? Spoiler alert: Yes, but it took an extreme vacation to find out.
The Zulal Wellness Resort in Qatar is the sister property of Chiva-Som in Thailand, a pioneer in spa holidays with a focus on traditional Asian medicine. Zulal – an hour’s drive north of Doha in Al Ruwais, on the northern tip of the peninsula – is Qatari-owned but managed by the Chiva Som team. It has 180 rooms, split between an adult side called Serenity and the more family-oriented side Discovery. The look is the same everywhere: minimalist beige cubes contrast starkly with a surrounding turquoise pool and a permanent blue sky. A private beach overlooks a mangrove plantation in the sea.
I took Ava, now 17, with me under the promise that I wouldn’t embarrass her with one of my old pet names like Poppin and that we would get lots of sunshine, good food and time to talk. I wasn’t wrong, although our first morning was filled with a very detailed “getting to know you” session with the resort’s wellness team. After discussing sleep patterns, bowel movements, and menstrual cycles—and some uncomfortable sitting—we got to work on why we were really here.
“We’d just like to spend more time together,” I said. Ava smiled sweetly and nodded.
This wasn’t quite as easy as expected: Many of the facilities are gender-segregated, in keeping with the resort’s emphasis on traditional Arabic and Islamic medicine (TAIM). Fair enough – you don’t come to the Middle East and expect the West. There’s no alcohol, but that honestly wasn’t a problem as the place was so relaxed it barely even crossed my mind.
Strangely enough, perhaps it was these very elements that pulled us out of everyday life so effectively. For example, gender segregation meant that each of us had a lot of freedom, rather than feeling like we had to be “connected” every minute of the day. It also made the time we spent together special.
There was an overwhelming variety of mocktails to accompany the meals, most of which were really tasty. One of our first activities together was a mocktail making masterclass with bar manager Safik. Like all the employees here, Safik was endlessly cheerful. Maybe there is something to this clean life after all.
Although the bread contained no gluten or refined sugar, the food was outstanding – the presentation was very attentive, the portions fairly modest (see? I can do Gen Z meme culture too).” Everything on the menu has a calorie, carb and protein count.
I was also very satisfied with my TAIM consultation, the concept of which is similar to Ayurvedic medicine. Since I was suspicious of anything that sounded a bit woo woo, it was heartening to learn that I was an Earth type after a series of questions and a check of my pulse. This sounded more normal than the shrill and irritable Firemen or the limp and disorganized Airs.
Ava also loved getting her hair and nails done. It’s a spa, after all, even if men and women can’t share a hot tub after a busy day of massages.
Luckily, at 17, Ava was old enough to gain access to the Serenity side of the resort, so we were able to use the co-ed gym together. It may not sound like much, but a high-five after an intense burst of cardio helped get our father and daughter back on track.
Another big improvement over a standard luxury resort was Zulal’s phone-free policy, which, while not strictly policed, was still effective. Wi-Fi is only available in the room, so seeing parents and children scrolling in silence for ages was a welcome change and meant we spent our free time together actually talking.
Such interludes were rare, however: the wellness team put together a packed schedule that included fitness classes, physical therapy for my many injuries, padel tennis, evening stargazing, and a facial skin analysis for both of us. It turns out that Ava defied the aging process by a year while I was celebrating my early 50th birthday. Cause for even more laughter when, at 80 years old, we were shown a frightening digital representation of our faces.
If any of these various tests raise a health issue, a physical injury, or an aesthetic issue, there are therapists here who can work to correct the problem. However, the best medicine for us was just chatting every evening while watching the sun set over the beach. I can’t say we’re perfect, and I certainly can’t turn back time to Ava’s childhood – but our relationship feels different now, is somehow improved, and has new energy. We had the kind of conversations you only have outside your everyday domestic bubble, when, frankly, there’s very little pressure to do much other than just be. It was all quite liberating really.
Aren’t you, Poppin?
Essentials
Matt Hampton was a guest of Healing Holidays (020 3372 6945), which offers five nights from £1,799 per person (full board, based on two people) or from £4,299 per family of four, including transfers from Doha and a personalized program of treatments and therapies . Zulal Wellness Resort (00974 4477 6500) has rooms from £376 per night (full board), including treatments and therapies.
